Have you ever driven down Great Ocean Highway and thought “huh, I swear I just saw a car flying” but then it disappears right before you get a good look at it? We residents of Chumash and GOH call this phenomenon The Chumash Effect, where people believe they see things that shouldn’t be or isn’t even happening.

It is widely unknown what causes this, but two theories have become popularized among Chumash residents, one theory claiming that the Sprunk rabies scare from a few years back still causes hallucinations, another theory claims the hallucinogen mushrooms found at the swamp off-gasses and fills the air with light doses of the magic mushrooms.

While there is no scientific proof on either of these, the second theory largely explains why locals are constantly crashing, turning into your lane, and even many hallucinations happen once you get on GOH (Reports of cars with no drivers, vehicles driving through solid objects, random explosions with no debris).

As for the Chumash Triangle, planes have been crashing daily in the Chumash area which has no real cause to do so. Some blame SAFA for hiring incompetent pilots, other’s claim that Chumash has a larger magnetic pull than most areas causing the planes to malfunction. Whatever the case may be, it’s for certain that aircrafts crash an abnormal amount here in the West Coast of San Andreas, and we would like to get to the root of the causes.

Our photographers have compiled pictures of many airline crashes that have occurred within Chumash as evidence for the government that Chumash needs to become a no-fly zone due to the unreasonable amount of aircraft accidents in this area.

(Read the end of the article for a word from Useless News staff).

Note from Editor-in-Chief: Hey, I’m Mak Calhoun. I started Useless News to be different than the other news companies in the city. I wanted to focus more on the smaller, lesser known stories rather than the major ones that the big news companies will already cover. With this gives both pros and cons for a company: Pros being that we can provide entertainment on many subjects without having to stay true to only posting important information. We can find more stories that other companies may feel their platform wouldn’t fit. Things that we actually enjoy and wish to tell to the citizens of San Andreas, rather than feeling like we need to post about the biggest news happening around. The cons are the fact that finding smaller stories that we feel fit our platform can take much more time than posting about the major events. Which, in turn, makes it take longer for us to put our stories out for our readers to enjoy. We want to post about things we actually have fun writing about and hope that others do too, so we take the time to make sure we get the right stories. So I want to thank everyone for being patient while we get out what we feel is our best stories. We will try to be more consistent in the future.